I hate it when you say all I do is gossip online. Do you even know a tenth of what I'm doing? You only think that way cuz you see me talking to Christine online. And we're discussing about some band. That's not entirely gossiping. And I'm productive. I type out scripts, I don't bitch about others, I'm not an airhead. I bet you don't know what the meaning of gossiping is. I know I may not be the best daughter you can ever have, I've broken countless rules and hearts ( Yours and mummy's), I've been effing disrespectful, I've had attitude problems, I've kept you awake at night countless times, I've blown your money on loads of clothes and what not which I get sick of after a while or they get broken, I've caused you so much trouble when I got injured and fell ill, I don't show you all enough love and care and concern, and I know I'm prolly gonna do loads of stuff you're not gonna approve of in the future. Please know that I'm not one who expresses my feelings well enough, I don't like to, but I'm trying to change. I helped with your website without asking for anything in exchange which I usually do, you don't know half of how much I hurt inside.
I may just be an insensitive, uncaring, aloof bitch on the outside, I have loads of layers you have to peel to fully understand me. Sorry for sucking so much as a daughter, I know you regret having brought me into this world countless times.
I'd felt so guilty when you caught me saying the bad word that I didn't know how to face you the next day and cried myself to sleep.
Now to another person, I've been muddling over you for the past few days, I don't even know why. I guess it's just that you've caused me to feel really guilty over some stuff, and I guess you don't even know what's going on. The biggest thing is I find it really hard to trust people, thinking they just wanna take me on a ride, they've an ulterior motive for doing stuff and what not. So I'm gonna say sorry, if I hurt you, I didn't want things to turn out this way. Probably cos you've hurt me in the past, or some unforseen circumstance caused me to be stuck in this hard nutshell of mine, that I've gotten so used to it just being me in this tiny little world I live in that I've forgotten all about care, concern, love and stuff.
Anyway, I don't know if you:
1. Have forgotten about it
2. Gave up
3. Was just toying with me
4. Are living in pretense,
but this situation really sucks. Cos you don't know how I'm feeling, not the least bit. Or maybe I'm just oblivious to my surroundings, all the obvious signs flashing right at me but I'm just too blinded by my own personal demons to see behind them. Most importantly, you ____ me at the wrong times, when I _____ you, you weren't there...
Anyways, on to the happy(er) stuff:
Went to suntec w/ esther yesterday. I'll upload the lonely two photos we took since she's so anti-social that she doesn't wanna take pictures. I'm really a loser whenever I go out, cos I only spend my money on FOOD. Seriously. So it was getting boring there, thus we walked over to bugis. Ate some more and walked to bugis street where we saw a man getting tattooed! And possibly a hooker standing by the stairwell, ha ha. All the stuff there was too skanky or disgusting so we headed back. Oh, I dared esther to windowshop at the sex shop but she didn't dare to. Oh well. I wanted to take pictures with the distorted Christmas tree but esther didn't want to cos she was embarrassed. I embarrass her whenever we go out, seriously she should go and get a life. Since mojority of the people taking pictures with the Christmas tree were tourists,
I was a:
1. Chinese Tourist
2. Taiwanese Tourist
3. Japanese Tourist
for the day. My chinese is not bad, xie xie ni! I went around talking in chinese with the china accent. Esther didn't wanna walk close to me, I bet it was cos I own her when I speak in chinese. Hah, so much for getting a C for chinese!!! But I couldn't really make it as a Japanese cos I only know Hello, Thank You and Majide! Haha. And Sakura if that's counted but that's so gay, urrgh.
Oh I'm on the lookout for gays nowadays! They usually have earrings, that's what my cousin says. Not sure if it's in the case for those on TV or what. Yeah, but I think it'll be cool to have a gay friend, y'know? :)

Ttyl, I've gotta go be a kool kid w/ Christine, who's attempting to, btw.
Love and peace,
rachel K. :D

'Do you wanna run away together?'
I would say it was your best line ever.
Too bad I fell for it...